Happy New Year to my one reader.
Now, Misty's made her predictions, I'm going to make mine.
January: Nothing of significance happens; the press get distracted by twin badgers.
February: I get fixed up for a blind date on St.Valentine's Day with a blind Russian shot-putter; being a gentleman, I get her drunk and put her in a taxi home.
March: Excitement about Tony Blair's resignation reaches fever-pitch; TB tells them to fuck off.
April: Showers. The badgers are doing well.
May: Gordon Brown succeeds Tony Blair and calls a quickie election. The skunks topa BBC poll and get proposed as candidates.
June: Elections. Who cares who wins? They're all after my wallet. My MP's a tosser, so I'll probably vote for her best opponent. Round here that would probably be the Monster Raving Loony Party. The badgers almost get elected.
July: Sunshine! My nephew's 5. Damn the rest.
August: More sunshine!
September: Prime Minister Cameron announces that Britain will leave the EU but remain in EFTA.
October: Cameron announces that the UK is negotiating membership of NAFTA.
November: Georgina celebrates her first birthday. Yay!
December: The badgers do what Guy Fawkes failed to do: blow up Parliament. Everyone thinks it's part of some celebration and nobody notices that all the MPs are dead. When it is finally noticed, nobody really cares.